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I run, therefor, I am?

October 26, 2007

I’m back on the running wagon.  Seriously, and it feels good.  I mean really good

Guess, it is likely appropriate to insert a little background information here.  For many many years I have been trying to become a runner again.  For various reasons, it just hasn’t happened.  Whenever I would fall off the wagon, I would deem it a “failure.”  Then I would just look at myself as a failure.  Not a real appropriate way to encourage ones self to get back on the wagon.

Alas, early this spring, I embarked again on the journey to find the lost runner within.  I was doing very well, until the end of April/early May I tore the deltoid ligaments in my ankle.  The same ankle I’ve had surgery to repair, bla bla bla.  Boring story really interesting only to myself.

So, after having to take several weeks off, I jumped back on with full gusto!  I ran my portions of the Reno Tahoe Odyssey, felt wonderful and immediately left on vacation.  Ahh, vacation…one of life’s curve balls.  It wouldn’t have been a curve ball for someone who had been firmly established in a workout routine.  Rather, for someone like myself barely back on the wagon faced with a week of relaxation, visiting with family, etc. it was a rather significant curve ball.

Then that week became a month, then that month became two, then three, and then I realized HOLY CRAP I’m signed up to *run* a half-marathon in a few weeks.  LOL.  Ahh, sweet sweet motivation!

Alas, here I am again.  Buns barely making contact with the wagon.  The significant difference this time, is that I don’t view the last three months as a failure.  It was a pause in what I started in the spring.  And I think that makes a tremendous mental difference.  I think this is a notable difference in my thinking.

Over the past three months, I utilized numerous excuses.  One of the more recent, and amusing excuses was the fact that I decided to run in the mornings.  With the changing seasons, and darkness in the mornings, I decided I needed “safety” gear for my runs.  So, I put off running again until I finally ordered the stuff and waited for it to arrive.  It arrived and I started running.

A challenge has been determining when a good time for me to run.  With Chet training all spring and summer for his events, including three 100 mile races this year, his training has been the dominant priority.  With his personality, he trains most consistently and best when he runs in the afternoons/early evening.  For me, working full time, I had a difficult time justifying running in the afternoon/evening because it was time away from my son.  And, a late evening runner I am not. 

Logically then, it appeared that I would have to become either a lunch runner or a morning runner.  And, as appealing as running at lunch seemed, it was not realistic.  I simply cannot tear myself out of my office consistently enough to exercise at lunch, and the fact that with a run, shower, etc. it would become a two-hour lunch, I just couldn’t bring myself to commit to that.  Thus, I was left with one option – morning.

A few weeks ago, upon the arrival of my exceptional safety gear, including a Amphipod running vest and a flashing armband, combined with my florescent yellow Patagonia jacket, I felt equipped to run on the roads and be visible (i.e. safer).  That first morning, when my alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. was a rude awakening.  I’m accustomed to going to sleep about 10:00 p.m.  I have a dependency on falling asleep to Coast to Coast a.m. (sorry George).  I as also accustomed to waking up somewhere between 6 and 7 a.m.  This was a big change, and required me to get to bed much earlier – and without my Coast to Coast. 

Regardless, I did it.  And now, I am continuing to get up about 5 a.m.  I’m going to workout and I’m enjoying it.  Besides, I think I look extraordinary in florescent yellow. 

Thus, the saga continues.  But, it is a journey not enjoyed by reaching the destination, because, really what is the destination when one is trying to become a runner.  Rather, the journey to be enjoyed and experienced every step of the way.

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