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Open letter to DIYer’s, Decorating Enthusiests, Home Improvement Fellow’s

November 24, 2007

Dear Fellow Home Occupier:

Ahh, the feeling of home sweet home. A place you can personalize to make it your own. Your castle.

May I please make a request, rather a plea? When you are doing things to “fix up” your home, please do not begin resorting to the thinking of a 14 year old – the path of least resistance is not the appropriate option. I know it is tedious to tape windows properly, particularly 1930’s double hung windows with 9 divided lights, but really did you really think painting the cotton cords and nailing the windows shut somehow was a benefit to ANYONE including yourself? Rather, refurbishing old double hung windows is really quite easy. But, instead you choose the path of least resistance. Even more insulting is the fact that you took the great care to paint the interior of all those windows, nail them shut, caulk them in some instances and paint the cotton cord, but you couldn’t take a 1/4 of the effort on the exterior of those same windows and put a little putty in them and slap a decent coat of paint on the place once every 10-15 years? I won’t even go into your window glazing technique that reminds me of the chewing gum stuck under a Formica table at a diner over the past 60 years. I understand that there is a certain “art” to glazing, though not more difficult to learn than drawing a stick figure.

As for wallpaper. For the love of God. Whomever decided that any use of wallpaper this day in age, with inexpensive quality interior paints and more DIY programing on television for the past decade and home improvement clinics at virtually every home improvement center on the face of this planet on paint techniques – why on God’s green earth did you decide to use wall paper? Don’t you know that painting, even faux finish painting is much easier than putting up patterned wallpaper, matching the pattern, bla bla bla!?!? Are you from some other parallel universe where you can instantly snap your fingers and have the wallpaper come off?

I think I have found my own personal hell, and I’m only 1/8th of the way through the room.

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People who install wallpaper are Satan’s spawn. Seriously, wallpaper installed after 1980 (this was installed post 1990, making it an even more horrific crime against humanity) is just plain stupid. Seriously, it never looked good.

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We just happened to love the house and have lived with this horrid wallpaper for 8 years. And then, whomever decided that installing liquid nails over the wallpaper to install molding – I don’t like you. I really really do not like you.

There’s a dozen other do’s and don’ts of home improvement I can come up with, but I’m no Norm Abram or Tommy Silva so I can’t profess to be the all knowing and all powerful genie of DIY. But, when you’re working on a 1930’s bunglow and you have to try to fix all the crap other people have done over the last 70+ years, you learn very very quickly that the job done right makes it so much easier to maintain for the generations to come.

Please, anyone out there don’t ever use wallpaper. If you do, I believe the home improvement Karma wheel will ultimately give you a turn in your own personal DIY hell.

With love,

Micheline

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. creatist permalink
    November 25, 2007 6:26 AM

    awww feelin really bad … 😦 not fair on you.. but no worry! have faith..some good will definately come out of this..

    and as for takig apart the wallpaper.. ALL THE BEST! 🙂

  2. December 22, 2007 3:53 PM

    very informative post.

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